Hello , I am an ex Scientologist , this blog is primarily about that but I may address other topics as the mood hits me to . I was in Scientology for 25 years and spent about 10,000 hours using the indoctrination and thought reform method "study tech " . I also spent time on staff and met hundreds of Scientologists and did hundreds of the cult practices . Many were the "ethics cycles and OW writeups " that really are an attempt to suppress or remove a person's identity and replace it with a mental pseudo clone of Ron Hubbard . To make a fanatical slave for the cult .

I looked outside the cult for answers in about January 2014 and left the cult in about March of 2014 . While in about 99% of members have no idea of the truth .

We are told we are in a mental therapy or spiritual enhancement or religion or science for helping people unlock potential . Or any of several other fronts that all pretend kind and humanitarian goals .

The truth is Scientology is a terrorist mind control cult and this blog is my attempt to understand and expose that . And try to state as clearly as possible the tools that I have found helpful in dealing with this .

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Coerced Colaboration


This post is one that if my posts were to be written out as a book would be in one of the very last chapters .

I strongly recommend reading all the posts listed at the following link BEFORE starting this one .

It covers something that is only briefly touched on in earlier threads.

Not everyone will be prepared for or accept this info and I understand that ; it can be VERY upsetting and frankly my research has taken me in a darker direction than I first anticipated - and I'm afraid other yet darker material shall be forthcoming .

There is a person who quite likely had to play a role in your being fooled , defrauded and enslaved if you were a Scientologist or Dianeticist.

Now before I tell you about this person I want to ask in the strongest possible terms that you treat them as much as is possible with acceptance and forgiveness .

I can assure you that you - if you have done more than a very small amount in Dianetics and Scientology - have been thoroughly implanted by LRH tech to scapegoat and treat with negative emotions ( actually the ENTIRE tone scale from 2.0 down ) this person in a variety of circumstances and situations FOR LRH's benefit and exploitation .

I will rephrase that - HE made it so you would in many ways put down and doubt this person so HE could have you confused , uncertain , afraid, weak and vulnerable to his unethical abuse. It was intentional on his part .

Before I tell you I should introduce some info to properly frame this story.

This goes back a LONG way to old school philosophers who had at least an inkling of where I am going to go .

First I will give a quote from Confucius :
Confucius believed that social disorder often stemmed from failure to perceive, understand, and deal with reality. Fundamentally, then, social disorder can stem from the failure to call things by their proper names, and his solution to this was the rectification of names. He gave an explanation to one of his disciples:

A superior man, in regard to what he does not know, shows a cautious reserve. If names be not correct, language is not in accordance with the truth of things. If language be not in accordance with the truth of things, affairs cannot be carried on to success. When affairs cannot be carried on to success, proprieties and music do not flourish. When proprieties and music do not flourish, punishments will not be properly awarded. When punishments are not properly awarded, the people do not know how to move hand or foot.

Therefore a superior man considers it necessary that the names he uses may be spoken appropriately, and also that what he speaks may be carried out appropriately. What the superior man requires is just that in his words there may be nothing incorrect.

— Confucius, Analects, Book XIII, Chapter 3, verses 4-7, translated by James Legge .

Okay , so he considered it VERY important for things to have the proper names , or terms to describe them .

Now for another quote that I feel is also relevant from another old school philosopher :
Laozi (also Lao-Tzu, Lao-Tsu, or Lao-Tze) was a philosopher and poet of ancient China. He is best known as the reputed author of the Tao Te Ching and the founder of philosophical Taoism, but he is also revered as a deity in religious Taoism and traditional Chinese religions. Although a legendary figure, he is usually dated to around the 6th century BC and reckoned a contemporary of Confucius, but some historians contend that he actually lived during the Warring States period of the 5th or 4th century BC. A central figure in Chinese culture, Laozi is claimed by both the emperors of the Tang dynasty and modern people of the Li surname as a founder of their lineage. Throughout history, Laozi's work has been embraced by various anti-authoritarian movements.

[h=“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.”]1[/h]
Lao Tzu

Okay so HE says to watch your THOUGHTS ; now you might wonder what any of this has to do with where we are headed ?

Fair enough , keep their ideas in mind as I give you a little intro material .

I will now include some pictures to help express GENERAL principles : these may not be 100% accurate -BUT they can help get across certain points VERY well.

This first is to express the idea that at least 90% of a person's mind is not the conscious part they are fully ( or nearly fully ) aware of.

Lots of things occur at a lower or several lower levels and are harder to access .

Picture yourself sitting ON an iceberg and interacting with the very tip AND a small area you can barely make out below the water's surface.

Okay , that area we can call the semi-conscious . Next up we will get into THAT .

Okay so here is a little info on the semi-conscious mind.

I will use a quoted article from the Purple Healing Room by Kiran Relangi ( note : this is NOT an endorsement or evaluation of any other ideas or practices at this site ) it is on monitoring one's semi-conscious thoughts and mind .

This is one of the most powerful practices to accelerate progress and self development: Learning to become aware of your, of what I call, semi-conscious thoughts. Our mind is a constant chatter of thoughts – but amidst those seemingly simultaneous stream of thoughts, there is a steady undercurrent thought stream that is minute but certainly discern-able.

I call them ‘semi conscious’ thoughts for they aren’t loud for you to be easily conscious of them nor are they so sub conscious that you need to be in an altered state of mind to perceive them. It is easy to be aware of them if you put just enough awareness on it. In fact, most of the time we indeed ‘hear’ these semi conscious thoughts, but we had trained ourselves to ignore or suppress these thoughts. Now it is time to un-train that suppression and acutely become aware of these thoughts.

So what is so important about these thoughts that we should be aware of them?

Simply put it is our conscience and it speaks the truth. It is for this very reason we trained ourselves to suppress these thoughts and it is precisely for this very reason that I ask you to become aware of them.

One of the biggest problems that people, unknowingly, face is not knowing their root problems. We seem to think lack of sleep, stress, diabetes, fear, anger or other such surface issues are our problems. But in fact they are mere symptoms of root issues within.

Becoming aware of our semi conscious thoughts helps us get to the root cause easily. Many times even the semi-conscious thought stream is not aware of our root causes but they are definitely aware of causes just below the layer of external symptoms. By simply training yourself to observe these thoughts will enable you to easily identify the root cause within no time.

To give you an example, I used to have the habit of becoming very angry whenever my dog (he’s a lab) dragged me along by its leash during the walks. I got used to pulling him back rudely and sometimes even slapping him after we reached home. I had always assumed I got angry because the dog was not obeying my commands.

As I trained myself to become aware of my semi conscious thoughts, I came to realize the actual reason for being angry. I was afraid passers-by would laugh at me for being ridiculously pulled by a dog – I did not want to be laughed at. This simple awareness helped me to work on my core issue – fear of being laughed at (instead of assuming lack of obedience from my dog).

Also these semi-conscious thoughts aid an early diagnosis of an issue. We get to stop a habit or belief from easily becoming a major issue in near future. An example of this is I found that my anger issue was increasing at one point by the simple process of anticipating situations for me to get angry and it only a matter of time before I would be provoked simply because I was ready to be. Becoming aware of these thoughts, I soon curbed anticipation. That took me a long way in my anger management.

The third benefit of training yourself to monitor semi-conscious thoughts is its ability to point out the truth at the right time. Imagine a situation where you are discussing an opinion with someone. Without your knowledge the discussion is soon turning into an argument. By being aware of your semi-conscious thoughts you would be readily able to steer the course of discussion away from it turning into an argument for there will be a time when your semi-conscious mind goes ‘Whoa there! Watch where your conversation is leading to!’ ( End article quoted )

Okay , I'll also include a definition that I hope helps :( please note that I do not COMPLETELY accept or agree with any particular school or theory about the sub- conscious or unconscious mind : I just use them to explain the methods of Dianetics and Scientology . If they fit the phenomena and provide clues - then I may use them - although some theories just seem to fit QUITE well ) This is from Wikipedia :

The subconscious mind is a composite of everything one sees, hears and any information the mind collects that it cannot otherwise consciously process to make meaningful sense. The conscious mind cannot always absorb disconnected information, as it would be an information overload, so the subconscious mind stores this information where it can be retrieved by the conscious mind when it needs to defend itself for survival (and for other reasons, such as solving puzzles).

The subconscious mind stores information that the conscious mind may not immediately process with full understanding, but it stores the information for later retrieval when ”recalled” by the conscious mind, or by an astute psychoanalyst who can draw out information stored in the subconscious, bringing it to the individual's conscious awareness.This can especially be observed with heightened sensitivity of victims of violence and other crimes, where victims "felt something" "instinctually" about a person or situation, but failed to take action to avoid the situation, for whatever reason, be it embarrassment, self-denial or other reasons to ignore instinct, as they disregard internal warning signals.

A precise example of the subconscious mind at work and related phenomena can be found in a book written by psychoanalyst Gavin De Becker, "The Gift of Fear". He describes how a victim "knew something was wrong", but initially discredited her own instinct/subconscious mind, opting instead to respond to the perceived threat in a normal, "socially acceptable" manner, completely ignoring that the subconscious mind tried to tell the conscious mind "that something is wrong."

De Becker tapped into the mind of the victim regarding her "prior awareness by the subconscious mind that caused her to act instinctively" allowing her to realize that the perpetrator was going to kill her. The analyst brought her conscious mind to recognize how her subconscious was working on her conscious mind, by eliciting her original "inner thoughts/voice" through a series of events to which her subconscious mind ultimately drove her conscious mind to behave in such a manner as to protect her from being killed. Gavin was able to elicit her subconscious mind's recognition of a dangerous situation that compelled her conscious mind to act to save her through its basic survival instinct, bringing to the victim's conscious mind that it was the "subtle signal that warned her."

The victim describes this as an unrecognized fear that drove her to act, still unaware consciously of precisely why she was afraid. Her conscious mind had heard the words, "I promise I won't hurt you, while her subconscious mind was calculating the situation much faster than the conscious mind could make sense out of WHY the fear was there. The victim stated that "the animal inside her took over." ( End quote )

Okay , so I want to get across that there is a part of your mind that can be called the sub conscious or unconscious that is usually out of sight to the conscious and the vast majority of mental activity is at this level in several models used to describe human thought .

The conscious is the part you are VERY aware of and perceive easily and recall easily.

Got it ? if so then we can get back to the semi-conscious : that is slight thoughts that can be running constantly , or nearly so , SOME of which are remembered or pursued - BUT and this is one of the VERY most important points to get from this post - not all semi-conscious thoughts are followed , or even REMEMBERED !

So , what does this have to do with ME and somebody helping LRH use his " tech " on ME ( even unknowingly ) ?

Well , see I in going over MY very own experiences in Scientology realized that I , at the beginning had DOUBTS and QUESTIONS - you know critical and independent THOUGHTS ( this goes back to the wise old philosophers ) - that I quickly set aside - you know for " later " _ and when I got misdirected by all the new terms and methods ( i.e. study tech ) , and CONFUSED as I practiced study tech I cooperated oh so slightly at first - then began censoring my WORDS in Scientology .

See I first let LRH CONFUSE me . AS I saw no harm in " trying " study tech . Without realizing I would soon use his definitions in THOUGHT WITHOUT evaluation if they were accurate or not !

I then used his methods - further without evaluation ! See I acted to quiet and then silence my OWN critical and independent thoughts !

First only a little - I could still perceive inconsistencies and absurdities in doctrine at first - BUT inch by inch I PUSHED the inner voice of reason down and squelched my own good sense and better judgement - HELPING LRH hypnotically enslave me !

See , he knew that with lies , misdirection , new terms , false study tech - he could OVERWHELM a person's mind with TOO MUCH information .

Some respond by leaving ; others complaining .

Well he made study tech to address ALL those who stay with something that SEEMS possible and related to study ; after all learning words CAN help comprehension !

BUT he stretched that smidgen of truth way past the breaking point to TRICK and lead you ( and I ) down a road of hypnotic mind control .

He knew the key was to get a person CONDITIONED to ( by REPETITION ) VERY slightly accept his method of thinking and " studying " .

If he could divide you against your own critical and independent thoughts - in a VERY CONFUSED and misdirected ( by LIES ) state he could get you to turn against YOURSELF ever so slightly and incrementally over HUNDREDS of times of applying his tech ! This applies to study tech , admin ethics , Dianetics and ALL of it really !

This is WHY he made the Reactive mind a terror ! To terrorize YOU into not trusting and fighting it !

This is why looking down is classed as apathy on his tone scale ! In truth it reflects thinking and consulting your OWN memory - you know like in INDEPENDENT thought ! This is why in Dianetics he strongly discourages thinking twice and acting once - he does not even want you thinking ONCE !

Unless it is his programmed thoughts ! This is why he arranged the tone scale the way it is - to instill DOUBT in your thoughts thereby encouraging you to set them aside and pick up HIS ! He wanted you to think at "clear " and below you are missing out on a simpler truer level of awareness - that you conveniently can not access until you do HIS bridge ! That is why the awareness characteristics are arranged that way for the upper bridge .

That lie is in the definition of Scientology - knowing how to know - as if you don't ALREADY know or know HOW to learn ! The old method critical and independent thought is not good enough for Scientology ! And so it must be cast aside !

He reinforces this MANY , MANY times and uses variation and repetition .

It is practically the heart of the MOST studied reference in Scientology - KSW !

All his talk of not quite bright , collective thought agreement , homo sap etc. etc is to convince YOU personally to curb some thoughts and EMBRACE others .

See , he embraced cognitive dissonance theory and used cognitive distortions to ever so gradually remold your thoughts , then words , then actions , then habits , then DESTINY !

Old Lao Tzu KNEW you should watch your thoughts - they can lead to your downfall ! Confucius knew you have to properly define things or you may do the wrong actions ! And they were both right .

LRH knew this and got you to set aside your own better judgement and compromise SLIGHTLY , to get through a moment of course or session or post ( as staff or SO ) and you UNKNOWINGLY on a conscious level conformed more and more.

This fits and overlaps MANY theories and ideas - my own on hypnosis and cognitive restructuring , theories on social pressure and conformity , TRANSFERENCE and the brilliant eight criteria for thought reform by Robert J Lifton and many others .

Whatever name(s) you call it - it means a gradual VERY SLIGHTLY cooperated or submitted to activity that SEEMS to be very , very different from what it TURNS into.

I had small nagging doubts and independent ideas - that I quickly silenced then learned through repetition to silence words then to change action then these things became HABIT , then my character , then my DESTINY !

Well I got VERY , VERY lucky and got a truly great wife to fight for me for DECADES !! That is probably easily my greatest fortune in this life !

I also caught a lot of lucky breaks and broke down and had and The Underground Bunker and Tory Magoo and Operation Clambake to help me get out of this mess.

I don't think it is bragging to say I have done A LOT of work to get out and change my thoughts and words and actions and character and DESTINY !

I hope this will inform and help some of you and I strongly encourage YOU to explore these issues in your own life if you have not and see if anything here rings true and please , please accept and forgive what you have done in Scientology.

Please also , if you can , accept what others have done as well - we all fell the same way for the same con.

I am fully aware this brings up additional issues for people raised as Scientologists- as you have experienced different and sometimes more intimate levels of abuse and betrayal.

I hope you can address those adequately - BUT I also want you to see if your parents were not well-intentioned victims as well .

This is very often the exact case.

I am Mockingbird ; if I have not made it perfectly clear my intent is to take apart Scientology and Dianetics so thoroughly as to render them completely powerless over myself and others.

I want to totally eradicate Hubbard's tech - have it abolished and utterly eradicated as the further I dig the uglier it and HE are revealed to be.
Okay now this thread is to give more intimate knowledge on my experience with Scientology and exactly HOW the process of thought reform worked on me .

Alright now I will get into loaded language a bit as it is very relevant . First I will include a quote from the brilliant Robert J Lifton's eight criteria of thought reform


the language of the totalist environment is characterized by the thought-terminating cliche (thought-stoppers)
repetitiously centered on all-encompassing jargon"the language of non-thought words are given new meanings -- the outside world does not use the
words or phrases in the same way -- it becomes a "group" word or phrase ( end quote )

Okay a clever trick whoever came up with the indoctrination method used in Scientology called study tech - but would more rightly be called covert hypnotic cognitive restructuring - uses is to stack up many many new definitions for old terms AND
at the same time have a student take in lots of regular words their various definitions and lots of small common words and grammar terms ALL AT ONCE .

This creates an IDENTIFICATION and association of the terms . In other words the correctness of learning the definitions for of , the ,a , such and many other words is seen as SUPPORTING the doctrine Hub gives ! It is a simple hidden fallacy many fall for SUBCONSCIOUSLY !
HE gets credit for all the regular English words AND that gives a FALSE authority to all HIS new words AND the concepts they express and imply !

THIS is where the language is loaded : it is the victim's own mind and thoughts that give the new language power over the victim .

Look in the process of " clearing " THOUSANDS of English words and new Scientology words and trying to keep MY own ideas separate it was hard to remember what I believe and what Hub said and pass checkouts and spot checks and apply Indoctrination methods .

So at some point I got overwhelmed and STOPPED remembering MY beliefs and just FOCUSED my attention on Hubs new ideas !

THIS is the point of the confusion , repetition , misdirection , covering lies, false barriers to study and a whole lot of other things students do !

HE wanted you SO overburdened YOU would push aside your beliefs to " try " his . And NEVER go back to yours !

It is a mental shortcut your mind is built to take , BUT he covertly NUDGED you over and over slightly to take that exact step.

By giving up holding two sets of ideas I calmed a mental CONFUSION over what was mine and his and what was true and theory .

It was ALL MINE ( but really his ). This created CALMNESS , and euphoria as the immense confusion was gone .

This meant I could trust HIS judgement and turn mine off . ( Bye bye critical factor )

See in hypnotism you can cross into a deep deep trust and relax - because you blindly trust SOMETHING or SOMEONE else.

It is ignorant bliss. It is an ILLUSION and when maintained is DELUSION .

It has certainty NOT judgement or wisdom . This is part of why exes and indies sometimes CANNOT see critical info on Hub or some parts of his con .

They have SO MUCH certainty wrapped up in auditing or study tech or something or HIM they MUST deny and avoid any threat to that .

Losing that is MADDENING temporarily but it can feel like forever . The bliss of auditing or study or remembering your beloved God can be the center of your life and identity .

This is why some cannot blame him or accept criticism of certain things.

I feel sorry for them . I went through a stage of this that was VERY unpleasant .

There is a simultaneous part that Hub knew of and pushed for . While this goes on the student ( or pc , staff , SO , etc . ) gets the small doubts and independent ideas and I will try to give examples of some of mine .

I would think : well how could he know this ? how can he be sure it is ALWAYS this way ? are MUs the only source of this ? do these ideas really have this link ? is this the cause of that ? Why is this basic term like O/w or overt or engram defined so differently in one place and then another ?
How come what he says about regret in the definition of an SP seems to conflict with what he says about the code of honor ? can auditing really recall genuine past lives ? and how can you be objectively sure ? Are there really OT states and can Scientology achieve them demonstrably ?

See these questions stack up to an enormous degree - without answers because all the definitions rely on an endless parade of more BEFORE any results are produced .

There is no proof . But if you want " mass " you can do demos or clay all day . They are a misdirection and do not make real any ideas .

They perform several roles ALL fake . SEE with redefinition the ASSOCIATION of clarity with Hub EQUALS a calm relaxed mind .

The questions and doubts have the common denominator of DISCOMFORT . They are all hard to keep straight and difficult to understand .

You get conditioned to equate submission and acceptance with order and contentment .

He saw that his pattern would win out over time with some minds . If they are going to quit let them quit fast !

Because if the conditioning did not take - he wanted your ass gone ! No disobedient slaves are allowed in master's house !

You see I created the calmness and serene certainty that I associated with the new terms - giving them their thought stopping power MYSELF !

It has been said the goal of mind control is to control the INDIVIDUAL so they think what the group wants. Or in this case Hubs wanted .

You see through this I , and I suspect thousands of others , learned to feel confident and certain when thinking or using the terms and was conditioned or hypnotized to bounce from term to term and feel confident just by remembering or knowing the term .

It is a closed logic loop . It instills fallacies and thinking fallacies are correct . Think term ( e. g. reactive mind ) bounce to other term . Then have triggering event - person criticizes Hub - bounce to other term ( e.g. 1.1 on tone scale ) FEEL certain bounce to other term - ( e.g. SP ) and on it goes .

I became so illogical as to be close minded and think I was open minded . THAT is a Scientologist !

It FEELS good so it must be " true " when it is a lot of Scientology must be right because it is right and if it is right then it is right !

No proof or logic . BUT it felt damn good .The terms trigger the feeling and behavior and that prompts more and on we go .

Hub uses rhetoric (as Gib points out well ) and conditions YOU to not see it and then to use it WITHOUT knowing both on others and yourself !

This creates a worsening growing state of thinking in fallacies . Many Scientologists and exes think in fallacies he instilled by using them over and over - making them SEEM normal and rational .

It is an induced handicap to make them controllable puppets . Completely intentional in my opinion .

I will present some of the most obvious here and do another thread just on them later .

These I have mentioned before and I suggest EVERYBODY learn them well : Personal incredulity , black and white thinking , magical thinking , the Texas sharpshooter fallacy (aka apophenia ), Ad Hominem , no true Scotsman , appeal to authority , begging the question , genetic , burden of proof , ambiguity , bandwagon , anecdotal and tu quoque .

I hope this helps some . By the way the forgotten ghosts refers to the independent and critical thoughts that at first were strong and free and fully alive and then faded like apparitions to be doubted then forgotten.

They need to come back to life .If you want to be free from Hub .

I will close with this . One of my favorite quotes is from Professor Noam Chomsky:

“The world is a puzzling place. If you are not willing to be puzzled, you just become a replica of someone else’s mind.”

I do not want ANYONE to be a replica of Hub's mind . It is a DISGUSTNG sad miserable mad hell .
Mockingbird's Nest :

stuff at ESMB

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