Hello , I am an ex Scientologist , this blog is primarily about that but I may address other topics as the mood hits me to . I was in Scientology for 25 years and spent about 10,000 hours using the indoctrination and thought reform method "study tech " . I also spent time on staff and met hundreds of Scientologists and did hundreds of the cult practices . Many were the "ethics cycles and OW writeups " that really are an attempt to suppress or remove a person's identity and replace it with a mental pseudo clone of Ron Hubbard . To make a fanatical slave for the cult .

I looked outside the cult for answers in about January 2014 and left the cult in about March of 2014 . While in about 99% of members have no idea of the truth .

We are told we are in a mental therapy or spiritual enhancement or religion or science for helping people unlock potential . Or any of several other fronts that all pretend kind and humanitarian goals .

The truth is Scientology is a terrorist mind control cult and this blog is my attempt to understand and expose that . And try to state as clearly as possible the tools that I have found helpful in dealing with this .

Friday, September 16, 2016

Fool's Gold

Something humorous in the dark absurd tragicomic way Scientology is was brought to mind by today's comments. I remember while being indoctrinated in Dianetics and Scientology that I alternated between the pleasant trances of taking in Hubbard's doctrine and using his submissive authority based study technology cognitive restructuring with covert hypnosis and feeling despair.
It's a kind of trauma bond of feeling worry free as the trance peaks with cognitive dissonance and blankness being "solved" with the Scientology doctrine as Hubbard's definitions are used to resolve blankness and confusion. Of course the worry free state is trance with trance logic escaping conscious contradictions, and negative emotions by denying and dissociation from cognitive dissonance. It's a special kind of cognitive distortions that becomes habitual.
The indoctrination seemed pleasant because it strengthened the bond to Hubbard's authority and doctrine, making me feel more certain of my rightness in choosing Scientology and Scientology's rightness in that it made me feel "good."
But the good was fool's gold. It's like ignoring red flags to preserve a moment of happiness built on a foundation of lies.
It's using the cognitive distortions of blind faith with submission to authority to turn down critical and independent thinking which feels like momentary relief but brought unpleasant effects.
One of which was a growing certainty about the human mind as portrayed in Scientology. In Dianetics and Scientology Hubbard over and over portrayed the mind as harmful,irrational, evil and error prone.
It's repeated in thousands of statements in various ways. He brings home the theme that "a mind is a terrible thing."
It filled me with a deep despair. That's the thing about a narcissistic trauma bond. The narcissist tells you they are the only honest one, the only awake or aware one and especially the only one that loves you or is mankind's greatest friend.
You hang onto the denial filled delusions that the abuser really loves you because the alternative of a world without that love, wisdom and protection the abuser pretends to give is just absolutely empty, full of despair and utterly unbearable.
That would leave you empty, worthless and completely wrong. It's a long way down.
We usually grow up to have certain assumptions we rely on for feelings of safety, security, meaning and justice and even identity.
These assumptions often frame our entire outlook on life and are core values. They serve to be the foundation our other beliefs and experiences are judged by and against.
A quote from Wikipedia on the Theory Of Shattered Assumptions provides an excellent description of this:
"The Theory of Shattered Assumptions is a phenomenon in psychology that describes how trauma can change the understanding of the world of human individuals. Introduced by Ronnie Janoff-Bulman, this theory states that all people hold three main assumptions about the world and ourselves. In summation, the assumptions state that the world is benevolent and as members of this world, we are meaningful and worthy. However, in the face of trauma, the theory claims that these assumptions are shattered, and one can no longer identify with these views." End quote
We try so hard to hang onto these assumptions that there can be a great conflict within a cult member. The cult teaches that benevolence, meaning and worthiness only come from submission to cult doctrine but cult doctrine progressively creates greater repudiation and condemnation of the world outside the cult. The doctrine eventually requires dispensing with the existence or outsiders. Lifton coined the term and it includes devaluation of others that ultimately leads to total rejection. That can include removal of rights, character assassination, scapegoating and total repudiation.
Total repudiation can be genocide or rarely the rejection of outside society by entirely exiting it through mass suicide.
The three positive assumptions can't survive the extreme negative beliefs cult doctrine require. It's hard to believe in benevolence, meaning and worth in a world the cult increasingly labels evil and worthy of destruction. Cults require purification through destruction. They focus on the evil of the outside evil because they can't bring their promised miracles and perfection of self and group but they can deliver the hatred and destruction of scapegoats. That creates unity and actions that produce observable results.
So the contradictions mount, to be good a cult member must embrace evil. It's unavoidable.

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