SECRET PARIAH - Scientologists Among Us

Recently several people that have been on Leah Remini's Scientology And The Aftermath T.V. show have been described as intelligent, articulate and even successful.

Journalist Tony Ortega has pointed out that people we see on T.V. are selected for effectiveness at communication. He has interviewed probably hundreds of Scientologists and ex Scientologists. He writes a daily blog and has covered Scientology for many years. He has probably written over a thousand stories on Scientology. I believe he is correct in his statement.

Many, many more people that leave Scientology wouldn't be as successful in appearing on T.V. and a good proportion of ex Scientologists don't tell people they were ever in Scientology.

A good number of people that leave Scientology, or other cults, tell as few people as possible and often try to hide it from employers and everyone they meet in the future. It's not something you will see on shows or videos about Scientology.

Some people feel ashamed, embarrassed or deeply confused, both about having been in Scientology and about the way people would treat them if they knew. Scientology has a much higher profile than it did years ago and a simply terrible reputation.

I have run into people that don't know I was in Scientology that can bring it up whenever crazy people or kooky ideas or strange groups are discussed at all. The universal opinion reflects a belief that Scientologists are crazy, gullible, stupid and almost inhuman in how bizarre they are.

Facing that can be fearsome. Instant ostracism and permanent shunning or at least suspicion can accompany the admission of having been in Scientology. Most Scientologists that were in for years or decades will face a significant challenge in proving their stability and good judgment since their sanity will be thrown into doubt.

People that are not well informed regarding cults and coercive persuasion will usually simply not comprehend how any sane, rational, decent person could get in or stay in Scientology.

The worst situation might be dealing with someone that has no real understanding of cults or Scientology and just thinks of cults as spontaneous communities of insane people that somehow magically find another. For some of them the world is black and white, good people that don't join cults and people that do join cults. To some anyone that joins a cult is a Charlie Manson or real life Hannibal Lecter. They just see cult members as deranged killers. A bit more reasonable people see cult members as insane and gullible.

You can exhaust your imagination trying to find the range of prejudices and reactions people will display towards cult members and ex members. You probably won't possibly predict every reaction or opinion.

It's something that breaks social convention. We are not prepared to understand, let alone meet, actual cult members.

So, the standard reactions many people display include incredulity, shunning and mocking. It's not pleasant at all.

Many members of other groups hide their affiliation after they leave. Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons, gang members, white supremacists, terrorists, ex cons, formerly homeless people, former sex workers and many other people try to hide the past if it won't be accepted.

I have met people that were shocked to learn I EVER was homeless. People I met in my thirties or forties just couldn't fathom that a person who they saw holding a steady job and fitting into society at any time was homeless. I simply explained that it happened, I ended up getting somewhere to stay and ended up getting employment and decades later these people met me while I was steadily employed at one job for several years.

If someone cannot accept that formerly homeless people can ever under any circumstances function in society, how can they have the open mind required to honestly look at an ex Scientologist as an individual ?

Some people are extremely kind and not prejudiced in dealing with ex Scientologists, but the people that aren't can create a huge problem. It can destabilize or endanger employment, after all a coworker can say things about Scientology and an ex Scientologist that might not be accepted or believed about a normal person.

And someone close can hurt you too. If you start a friendship or romantic relationship with someone and decide to open up and reveal your darkest secrets you become incredibly vulnerable to them, both emotionally and socially.

Some people will hurt you in asking questions or trying to be supportive because they don't understand Scientology or cults or recovery or aspects of you. It's a door you can't close once you open it.

Many cult experts have written about this from Margaret Singer to Daniel Shaw. It's a universal obstacle.

Even the people that publicly discuss it and do videos and interviews can face discrimination and aren't immune to emotional effects from the actions of others.

Some people have given the advice to all exes that aren't publicly known to leave Scientology, never look back and never tell anyone you were ever in. Act like it simply never occurred.

I don't think that's right for everyone, but can't rule it out for anyone either. It's your own life and choice and for some people it may be the best option.

But it's important that whether it's a good move or not isn't the point here. The point is many thousands of people that leave Scientology aren't running around with SP for life T shirts or Ask Me About Xenu hats. Lots of them tell only a few people, sometimes only family that already knew they had joined Scientology.

It's important to know if you read about Scientology or any cult that usually many people that leave will have a silent presence and simply pass for normal, on purpose.

Scientology has hurt thousands of people who you will never see on a video or T.V. show. That's important to know.

Some fear the terrible fair game campaigns OSA is infamous for, some people simply don't want to ever be around Scientologists again, even ex Scientologists.

It's important to know that these people are out here. Some write on Facebook or post comments at The Underground Bunker (a blog on Scientology) or the Ex Scientologist Message Board - ESMB, or elsewhere.

Some of these people only admit being in Scientology through an anonymous online presence and never bring it up elsewhere. It's a vast spectrum.

I think it's important people know about the people that are hidden after they leave Scientology. They are right around you and often completely unseen.