When you are abused, your outlook on life seems dismal. It feels like happiness isn’t a part of your future because you’ve been exposed to a self-serving and ego-centered manipulator – one without a true core or identity. You’ve ultimately been on-lease. The terms of the lease throughout the toxicity was guided by forfeiting your rights as a human being in order to receive decency from another human being.
From the outside, it seems as if we’ve done it to ourselves – being abused – but for Survivors – we know that this is NOT the case at all. We weren’t aware that people were absent of a kind or helping spirit. How could anyone believe that about another human being? It’s not easy being emotionally altered. It is a long, drawn out process filled with gaslighting, manipulation, and lies. How would Victims know that their Love Interest is either a sadist or simply absent internally? They wouldn’t because Cluster Bs are skilled and practiced. It’s necessary for them to practice, because they LOOK like us, TALK like us, and ACT like us – but for them the act is tiring, so they NEED VICTIMS in some capacity.
Plus, most people get into a relationship with another for their GOOD qualities, not their bad. Hence the reason ALL CLUSTER Bs have at least TWO masks and are considered a danger to society – they blend well.
Under the terms of NPD abuse, the onslaught began and continued after Idealization and Hooking occurred (Please see blog for Jekyll and Hyde). Your soul was leased out for long-term abuse, without your permission.
For all survivors, soul-leasing is tiring and physically/emotionally/psychologically wears us down. Physical illnesses can transpire, and exacerbate for as long as they remain with their Perpetrator. It’s life changing and mind bending, but through education during a Cluster Bs cheating / abuse binge, many Survivors start to believe in their INSTINCTS: They are NOT crazy the way the Abuser explains it to Victims and their inner circle of friends and family.
NPD Targets are good people who possess love, compassion, generosity, and empathy. They came into a relationship without malice or hatred, judgment or motive. Targets came in this for love, they did not have criminal minds!
Survivors get to the point of suicide because they can’t handle the evil that NPDs cause in their life. They torture their targets and use vulnerability to keep them in panic and sadness. The intentional hurt from Cluster B to Victim is inhumane but Victims only want to survive towards the end. They contemplate suicide because their life was literally being stolen. LITERALLY. Finances, emotions, careers, friendships were wiped out because it was a game for a Cluster B from Day 1.
Eventually targets believe that there MUST be a way out other than suicide (unfortunately, some do not). They use their time to read, study, and educate themselves. Cluster B Personality disorder isn’t something you pass off as ‘just a jerk’. They are society’s child molesters, rapists, gold-diggers, and serial killers. Would you give a pedophile the title of ‘Just a Jerk who likes children in a weird way’? Of course not! These people ARE CLUSTER B’s! People’s complete ignorance toward this personality type can be exhausting to explain, because society doesn’t understand until it’s too late.
You would think that 1-3% of the population is not a high number, but think of the victims associated to the Maddness. We are in the millions, in the United States alone. And 1-3% can be considered indefinite, as Mentally Ill people don’t make practice of walking into a Psychiatrist’s office stating that they need help. The percentile, then, must be considered an underestimated value.
In any event, the Cluster B leases peoples’ souls in order to survive. For Victims to become survivors, education and self-assessment is CRITICAL in order to move on.
The Puppet-Master pulled the strings long enough for Victims to believe that they are undeserving of anything positive. They are tired and want to get out. They want to believe in life again. And they can.
To all Victims and Survivors of NPD relationships who can’t seem to shake this toxicity out of them: The greatest gift God gives humans is empathy and love – Cluster B’s cannot comprehend EITHER of these feelings. At All. Nada. ZERO. They are CLUELESS TO REAL LOVE OR REAL EMPATHY. Victims only project this goodness onto them. Why do you think Cluster Bs are so angry at the Victim? Its natural ENVY. Its HATRED. Its JEALOUSY and RAGE. Those are the only emotions Cluster Bs know. And this is why Victims feel so badly – because feelings are not aligned with an Narciopath. They simply cannot feel goodness.
Healthy people find beauty in making others happy, seeing love in nature, and finding peace with the simplest things life has to offer.
Imagine NOT comprehending joy through the sound of a baby’s laughter, the peace of the sound of rain hitting against a window, the happiness we feel when we admire an elderly couple walking through the park, holding hands.
Cluster Bs do NOT know how to feel the simplest pleasures in life; lack of comprehending feelings is exactly why their lives are constantly chaotic, abuse driven, and filled with addiction – they are perpetually bored.
Nothing is happiness to a Narciopath unless life is in constant action & motion. Positive or Negative Supply is accepted by a Cluster B, because ANYTHING is better than NOTHING. Do you understand? They WILL NEVER FEEL and it is NOT your fault. They can’t feel for their family, their children, their friends. They have 2 masks for a reason – they HAVE TO PRETEND or they will get caught. Pedophiles and rapists don’t carry a sign around their neck that reads “WARNING: I WILL HAVE SEX WITH YOU”. No. They come as friends, helpers, and assistants of some kind – they come in close proximity under a guise so that they can take what they want.
It took time for me to understand this. ALOT of time to get it. Am I calling every NPD a pedophile? NO.
Are they serial cheaters? Yes, for the most part, they are.
Are Cluster B’s pedophiles? Some are, of course. How can I be so sure? Because there is a Diagnostic Scale that measures their personality against what society deems HEALTHY, to assess the level of harm these people can post onto society.
NPD Survivors are a part of the same group of rape or molestation victims. SAME SOCIETY – whether we want to believe it or not, it is simply the TRUTH. Now.
Back to our blessings.
How BLESSED are WE to see life from BOTH the Cluster B’s eyes, and your OWN? Yes, I said blessed. You have been exposed to 2 renditions of truth. His and Yours. You can see his but he CANT see yours. It’s impossible.
So in this toxic dynamic, as difficult as it is to comprehend: You have the right to choose. They don’t, because they cant. Even if by an epiphany, they can’t.
You can move on from the pain of abuse. You can heal. You will heal. You continue to educate because you want t a reason to believe again. The NPD cannot provide that reason.
You can save yourself, your children, the FUTURE of your fate, by understanding that the NPD cannot be saved. You and your family can, their future love relationships can, friendships can. All of these things can be saved. The love relationship between you and an NPD CANNOT. So give help to those who WANT IT and DESERVE IT. Bring life back into your soul. Get help. Seek therapy. Seek addiction counseling. Seek, and you will find.
Bring your life back and break the lease with this NPD – smile without reprimand or sighs, at the elderly couple who walk holding hands in the park.
You know that love is happy & calm & peaceful, just as they do while they walk quitely together& taking in the little things in life.
Move on.
Move out.
Move your soul back into your space. Break the lease without explanation. Break free and live again.
Signing off With Love,