Examining The Empathy Trap Book 7

The authors next took on post-traumatic stress disorder, PTSD.

This is one post in a series about The Empathy Trap Book by Dr Jane McGregor and Tim McGregor. Unless stated otherwise all quotes used here are from that book. It is recommended that the series be read in order from the first post on. 

I found that this information is crucial to understanding sociopathic abuse, human predators and cults.

It is the road I have been on for over forty years and so, I should learn it well. It is also the extremely important to me to describe it in as much detail as possible, because a lot of people are on it too and many have friends and family on it as well.

 "(Because it has primarily been identified by observing survivors of a specific range of traumatic events such as combat and disaster, the term PTSD fails to capture the consequences of prolonged, repeated trauma such as instances when a person is unable to flee and is under the control of an abuser, as may exist in families where abuse is taking place.)"

 (page 74)

 "PTSD is a severe anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to any event that results in psychological trauma. According to one expert on surviving trauma, Judith Herman, captivity that brings the targeted person into prolonged contact with the perpetrator of the abuse creates a special type of relationship. She defines this as one of coercive control. This is equally true when the individual is rendered captive by physical, economic, social and psychological means, as in the case of battered partners or spouses and abused children.

PTSD itself arises due to deregulation of the fear system. Fear is a necessary emotion at times of danger, and like anger is followed by a stress response - fighting, freezing or fleeing. This survival system depends on our ability to appraise threats in order to initiate survival behaviour. Once the threat or trauma is over, the fear system normally calms down after a few days or weeks. In PTSD this system fails to reset to normal, keeping the sufferer hyper-alert, in the lookout in case the event happens again. This disorder is characterized by involuntary, persistent remembering or reliving of the traumatic event in flashbacks, vivid memories and recurrent dreams. Usually this is accompanied by problems such as depression, substance abuse, and other anxiety disorders. The person may feel emotionally numb, for example feeling detached from others.

PTSD occurs when the trauma inflicted on an individual threatens her psychological integrity and overwhelms her ability to cope. As an effect of psychological trauma, PTSD is more enduring than the more commonly seen fight-or-flight response (also known as acute stress response), and is indicated by symptoms such as flashbacks, sleep problems, difficulty in concentrating and being emotionally labile (moods go up and down: the person is elated one moment, miserable the next). Chronically traumatized people are often hyper-vigilant, anxious and agitated. Over time they may complain not only of insomnia, startle reactions and agitation, but also of numerous other physical symptoms. Tension headaches, gastrointestinal disturbances and abdominal, back or pelvic pain are extremely common. Individuals also frequently complain of tremors, choking sensations or nausea. Repeated trauma appears to intensify the physiological symptoms. " (page 75-76)

 "The clinical literature points to an association between bodily disorders and childhood traumas. Some survivors of prolonged childhood abuse develop severe dissociation, cutting themselves off and becoming detached from their feelings and other people. At the other extreme, one study conducted in 1989 described a process the researchers called 'mini-fragmenting operations, where abused children were deluded into thinking that their abusive parents were good parents'.

Prolonged trauma at the hands of a sociopath may have emotional impacts, such as protracted depression. Here the chronic symptoms of PTSD combine with the symptoms of depression, producing what has been called the survivor triad of insomnia, nightmares and psychosomatic complaints. The humiliated rage of traumatized person adds to the burden. He has been unable to express anger at his perpetrator: to do so would have jeopardized his survival. So even when released from the perpetrator's grip, he continues to be afraid of expressing his anger. Furthermore, the individual often carries a burden of unexpressed anger against all those who remained indifferent and failed to help. Efforts to control this rage may further exacerbate his social withdrawal and paralysis of initiative while occasional outbursts of rage against others may further alienate him and prevent the restoration of relationships. Internalization of rage may result in self-hatred, even thoughts of suicide. Even though major depression is frequently diagnosed in survivors of prolonged abuse, the connection with the preceding trauma is frequently lost. Hence patients are incompletely treated because the traumatic origins of the intractable depression have not been recognized." (page 76-77)

Probably the most common mistake regarding PTSD is the belief that you are exaggerating your situation or trivializing the "real" PTSD that soldiers in combat experience. I had to read a lot of literature on trauma, abuse, human predators and the effects of PTSD to realize that the trauma and effects suffered by people who were abused as children or in cults or in other situations is genuine and it doesn't in any way diminish the term or insult veterans. 

In plain English I am severely fucked up and if you tell me you or someone else have PTSD I won't make the mistake of thinking you are not dealing with serious issues or that I know exactly what you are going through. People are complicated and have all sorts of issues to varying degrees.

That's a polished way to say you might be fucked up too, fucked up in a way like me, or fucked up to a different degree or less fucked up, or not at all. I don't know.

PTSD - It isn't just for soldiers!

I wanted to include all this because with my track record I can check almost every box for every characteristic of PTSD as described here. I also want other survivors of childhood abuse and cultic abuse and abusive relationships of any kind to be able to see the information and see if they have any issues. I am not advocating self diagnosis and treatment, if you want treatment then I have no idea what is the best course of action but I advise that you get the most competent and legitimate medical professionals available. If you just want to explore the topic and read, there are many books on this topic available.

I think PTSD is far more widespread than people commonly believe. Many people who have experienced trauma should get the care they need and a serious evaluation.

I feel a sort of relief in finding that many symptoms that were previously seen as negative character traits are par for the course for people who have experienced trauma and the traits are signs the trauma is there, not a character flaw.

Often people who have experienced trauma end up in a cycle of shame, then fault finding in themselves,  and the double bind of wanting love, recognition, compassion and help in opposition to feelings of overwhelming worthlessness, badness, and shame - and with the shame comes immense feelings of being unworthy of the love, compassion, acceptance and the help you need to escape the shame. So, you don't open up to anyone as you feel undeserving of the help you need. 

One can alternate between shame and rage and depression and feel that relationships are impossible or unsustainable.

The cycle needs something to change to be broken, sometimes, for some people, learning about the cycle is a start at changing it.